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Father Ted: I know what's going on, Pat Mustard. There are some very hairy babies on Craggy Island, and I think you are the hairy baby-maker.

Pat Mustard: Oh, yeah? Well, I think that you would need proof if you were going to make that sort of an accusation. And I'm a very careful man, Father. A very careful man!

Father Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom.

Pat Mustard: Ah, w-... you certainly wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, Father, would you?

Father Ted: Yes, I... well... if you're going to be... of course you will... JUST FECK OFF!

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Trivia

As a form of tribute to this wonderful comedy, the island of Inis Mor has just hosted the second "Tedfest". I was there along with thousands of fellow Father Ted fans. A fitting way to celebrate a great comic. See more...

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Father Ted (1995) - 5 major mistakes

starring Ardal O'Hanlon, Dermot Morgan, Frank Kelly, Pauline McLynn (add more)

Season: Whole show  1  2  3  Specials  All