Scrubs (2001) - 13 quotes
starring Donald Faison, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes, Ken Jenkins, Neil Flynn, Sarah Chalke, Zach Braff (add more)
My Common Enemy (series 4)
Dr. Kelso: I brought you a gift for your trip to Mexico. My old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore because I've already mastered the language.
Dr. Molly: Oh, gracias, senor.
Dr. Kelso: You're welcome-o.
Dr. Cox: People are just bastard covered bastards with bastard filling.
My Unicorn (series 4)
Dr. Cox: This moment is so great I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of little moments!
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.
Turk: You know, I never get chocolate cake.
Elliot: Oh, right, cause you're diabetic. Boo hoo. You know Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!
Across whole show
Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie... It makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively TO clowns.
Turk: This guy needs brain work, this guy needs a heart...
JD: This one needs courage.
Turk: Helping or hurting, JD? Helping or hurting?
Dr. Cox: You want some advice? No matter where you go in life, always keep an eye out for Johnny the tackling Alzheimer's patient.
JD: Now what's that supposed to mean?
[A patient flies in from offscreen, dragging JD through a door.]
Johnny: Who am I!?
Dr. Cox: Hey, Betty. Hey, Wilma. Oh, what the hell, you're only forty minutes late. Do I... do I smell beer?
JD: Uh, we... uh, we had a few.
Dr. Cox: Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.
Dr. Cox: Let me ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is - oh, I don't know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: you are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?
Carla: You can deny you like her all you want. But, I know for a fact, that every time you guys are done "playing racquetball" or "having a conversation" or whatever it is you crazy kids are calling it, you like nothing more than to just lie next to Jordan and watch her sleep.
Dr. Cox: It would be impossible for me to lie next to Jordan, she sleeps hanging from a ramp in the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.
JD: Who put this mistletoe up?
The Janitor: I did. I drove around the whole city before my 5 AM shift, just looking for that. Trying to add a little cheer. You will not ruin my Christmas. Not again. Not this year.
JD: But I've only worked here three months.



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