The Simpsons (1989) - 70 quotes

Homer: Please press any key. Where's the any key?

Lisa's Substitute (series 2)

Lisa: Dad, you're not listening!

Homer: Hey! Just because I don't care it doesn't mean I'm not listening!

The Great Louse Detective (series 14)

Bart/Lisa: Aaaaah! Sideshow Bob!

Sideshow Bob: Please. We've known each other for so long. Call me Bob.

Bart/Lisa: Aaaaah! Bob!

Sideshow Bob: Rakes! My old arch enemy.

Bart: I thought I was your arch enemy.

Sideshow Bob: Don't flatter yourself.

Mr. Burns: Before you begin, let me make one thing clear to you. I want your legal advice, I even pay for it. But to me you're all vipers. You live on personal injury, you live on divorces, you live on pain and misery. But I'm rambling. Anybody want any coffee?

Lawyer: I'll have some coffee.

Mr. Burns: Want it black, don't you? Black like your heart. It's so hard for me to listen to you, I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

Homer: What are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

Homer: To alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Homer vs. Patty and Selma (series 6)

Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them - as is my understanding...

Bart Gets an Elephant (series 5)

[Homer is driving and crashes into a statue of a deer]

Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: A deer!

Marge: A female deer.

Das Bus (series 9)

Homer: Ooh, they have the Internet on computers now!