Blackadder
Movie Quote Quiz

Amy and Amiability - S3-E5

Baldrick: I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.
Blackadder: Yes Baldrick. Let us not forget you tried to solve the problem of your mother's low ceiling by cutting off her head.

Amy and Amiability - S3-E5

Blackadder: Oh God bills, bills, bills. One is born, one runs up bills, one dies. Honeslty Baldrick, sometimes I feel like a pelican - whichever way I turn, I've still got an enourmous bill in front of me.

Plan F: Goodbyeee - S4-E6

Blackadder: [Describing Baldrick's poetry.] It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better, but apart from that it was excellent.

Plan F: Goodbyeee - S4-E6

George: The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire building.
Blackadder: George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika. I hardly think we can we can be entirely absolved from blame on the imperialistic front.

Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Baldrick: I don't like them doctors. If they start poking around inside me...
Blackadder: Baldrick, why would anyone wish to poke around inside you?
Baldrick: They might find me interesting.
Blackadder: I find the Great Northern and Metropolitan sewage system interesting, but that doesn't mean I want to put on some rubber gloves and pull things out of it with a pair of tweezers.

Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Darling: A German spy is giving away every one of our battle plans.
Melchett: You look surprised, Blackadder.
Blackadder: I certainly am sir. I didn't realize we had any battle plans.
Melchett: Of course we've got plans! How else do you think our battles are directed?
Blackadder: Our battles are directed, sir?
Melchett: Of course they are. Directed accoring to the grand plan.
Blackadder: Oh I see. And would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until everybody's dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig, and their tortoise, Alan?

Plan A: Captain Cook - S4-E1

Melchett: Now, Field Marshal Haig has formulated a brilliant tactical plan to ensure final victory in the field
Blackadder: Would this brilliant plan involve us climbing over the top of our trenches and walking, very slowly towards the enemy?
Darling: How did you know that Blackadder? It's classified information
Blackadder: It's the same plan we used last time, and the seventeen times before that
Melchett: E-e-exactly! And that is what is so brilliant about it. It will catch the watchful Hun totally off guard. Doing exactly what we've done eighteen times before will be the last thing they expect us to do this time.

Money - S2-E4

Blackadder: This place stinks like a pair of armoured trousers after the Hundred Years War. Baldrick, have you been eating dung again?

Potato - S2-E3

Percy: Oh, come on Edmund. The greatest explorer of our age is coming home. The streets have never been so gay. Women are laughing, children are singing. Oh look, look, there's a man being indecently assaulted by nine foreign sailors and he's still got a smile on his face.

Bells - S2-E1

Young Crone: Do have an appointment?
Blackadder: No.
Young Crone: Well, you can go in anyway.
Blackadder: Thank you, young crone. Here is a purse full of moneys...which I'm not going to give to you.

Sense and Senility - S3-E4

Blackadder: I've had it up to here with that Prince. One more insult and our contract will be as broken as this jug
Baldrick: But that jug's not broken
Blackadder: You really do walk right into these things, don't you Baldrick?
[Smashes the jug on Baldrick's head.].

Nob and Nobility - S3-E3

Baldrick: I'm glad to say you won't be needing those pills Mr. B.
Blackadder: Am I jumping the gun Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Baldrick: They certainly are.
Blackadder: Well forgive me if I don't jump up and down with glee, your record in this department is not exactly 100%.

Plan C: Major Star - S4-E3

George: You know what would cheer you up? A Charlie Chaplain film! Oh I love old chappers, don't you cap?
Blackadder: Unfortunately no, I don't. I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and then discovering there's a gas bill tied to it.

Duel and Duality - S3-E6

Blackadder: Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?

Nob and Nobility - S3-E3

Blackadder: Doesn't anyone know? We hate the French! We fight wars against them! Did all those men die in vain on the field of Agincourt? Was the man who burnt Joan of Arc simply wasting good matches?

Ink and Incapability - S3-E2

Baldrick: But then I'll go to hell for ever for stealing!
Blackadder: Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil.

Chains - S2-E6

[Melchett offers an idea to relieve his and Blackadder's boredom.]
Lord Melchett: Well, perhaps some pleasant word game?
Blackadder: Yes, all right. Make a sentence out of the following words: face, sodding, your, shut.

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More trivia for Blackadder

Answer: His first name is "Sod Off". Blackadder asks him in series 3 where this came from, and he replies "Well, when I was a kid, living in the gutter, I'd go up to the other kids and say 'Hello, I'm Baldrick'. And they'd say, 'Yes, we know. Sod off, Baldrick.'"

Shay

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