Angel (1999) - 31 quotes

Across whole show

Illyria: [after killing a guard and tossing the body aside] Your race is weak. How did you get to control all this?

Knox: Opposable thumbs?

Cordelia: He could have kept me in blue boxes.

Angel: Blue boxes?

Cordelia: Tiffany's!

City Of (series 1)

Cordelia: I finally get invited to a nice place with no mirrors and lots of curtains. Hey, you're a vampire!

Russell Winters: What? No, I'm not.

Cordelia: Are too!

Russell Winters: I don't know what you're talking about.

Cordelia: I'm from Sunnydale. We had our own Hellmouth. I think I know a vampire when... I'm... alone with him... in his fortress-like home.

Angel: Doyle, I don't want to share my feelings, I don't want to open up. I want to find the guy that killed Tina, and I want to look him in the eye.

Doyle: Then what?

Angel: Then, I'm going to share my feelings.

Cordelia: So are you still [makes a vampire face] "grrr"?

Angel: Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that.

In The Dark (series 1)

[Watching from on top of a building as Angel talks to a woman he just saved, Spike guesses what is being said.]

Spike: [as Rachel] How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?

[as Angel] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel reaches for Angel's head] No, not the hair. Never the hair.

[as Rachel] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?

[as Angel] No, helping those in need's my job, and working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.

[as Rachel] I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so...

[as Angel] Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away.

Parting Gifts (series 1)

Wesley: I'm a rogue demon hunter now.

Cordelia: Wow.

[Pause]

Cordelia: What's a rogue demon?

Somnambulist (series 1)

Cordelia: People really do change.

Angel: Yes, they do. And sometimes they change back. If the day ever comes that I...

Cordelia: Oh, I'll kill you dead.

[Pause]

Angel: Thanks.

Angel: Can I come in?

Kate Lockley: Oh, that's right. You need to be invited in, don't you?

Angel: You've been doing your homework.

Kate Lockley: Want to quiz me? I'm just full of fun facts. For instance, I learned your friend has been in L.A. before. Did you know that? Yeah, at least twice. Once in 1929 and again in 1963. Oh, and there was something in Boston in 1908. I think he was there, too.

Angel: So you believe me.

Kate Lockley: Yes, I believe you.

Angel: Good, because he's planning something else.

Kate Lockley: Angelus. Isn't that what he called you? Angelus. I looked it up, it's all right there. The demon with the face of an angel. A particularly brutal bastard by all accounts. Oh, and no, you can't come in.

Expecting (series 1)

Angel: I really don't like it when people shoot me.

Eternity (series 1)

Wesley: You walk a fine line, Angel. I don't envy you.

[A movie star wants Angel's help to protect her.]

Angel: I can't take your case.

Cordelia: [in the outer office] ARE YOU INSANE?!

Rebecca: I just wanted....

Angelus: To be like me? Hey, I can't blame you, I'm one happy fella. [Pins her to the wall.] Tell you what, I'll torture you for a few unbelievebly LONG hours, and you can tell me if this is the lifestyle for you.

Sanctuary (series 1)

Buffy: You hit me!

Angel: Well, not to go all schoolyard on you, but you hit me first.

Judgment (series 2)

[Meeting Lorne for the first time]

Cordelia: Who is this guy?

Wesley: He's anagogic.

Cordelia: Really? He looks like he's eating enough.

[Angel is refusing to sing at Caritas]

Angel: There are three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.

First Impressions (series 2)

[Angel's trying to get out of wearing a pink bike helmet.]

Angel: Well, it - it's, you know. The whole visibility issue, not to mention the hat head thing. You know, when you really think about it, how come I have to wear the ladies' helmet?

Wesley: Stop being such a wanker and put it on.

Dear Boy (series 2)

Gunn: As evil blood-sucking vampires go, how would you rate Angelus?

Wesley: Historically, as bad as they come. Especially when he was with his sire, Darla.

Cordelia: We're researching her now to see if she has some kind of resurrection powers. Maybe she's a vampire cat with nine lives, or something!

Gunn: So he and Darla together, bad combo?

Wesley: They rampaged through half the known world until Angel got his soul.

Cordelia: Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had 150 years to get it right.

Over The Rainbow (series 2)

[Sunlight in Pylea doesn't harm vampires]

Angel: Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?

Heartthrob (series 3)

Wesley: It's sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. By the way, Gunn, technically that wasn't a Lurite, it was a Murite, a subspecies of the Lurite. The male sports a small telltale fin just behind the third shoulder.

Gunn: I'm so glad to know we're not the sad people obsessed with demons.