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Will & Grace (1998) - 34 quotes

starring Debra Messing, Eric McCormack, Megan Mullally, Sean Hayes (add more)

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My Uncle the Car (series 3)

[Grace tries to start the car, but it just clicks]

Grace: That's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?

Karen: Oh my God. She just asked a fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car!

Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.

New Will City (series 3)

Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner (series 2)

Will: So, I gave my number to that guy at Border's bookstore today...

Grace: Phone number or business card?

Will: Business card...

Grace: Not hot.

Will: What, what do you mean?

Grace: "Hi, I'm intimidated by the possibility of rejection...but my secretary isn't...CALL HER!"

Will: I am not intimidated.

Grace: Then call him.

Will: I know, but I could open my mouth, and...where does that leave me?

Grace: You're a disgrace to your people.

Secrets & Lays (series 1)

Karen: Stan had to take the kids down to Scaresdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute, it'll come to me..."Stan, take the kids to see that bitch...Kathy!"

Grace: Your cook's name is 'Cook'?'

Karen: No, Grace, he has a name. I just don't remember it. No wait a minute, it'll come to me, it'll come to me... "Where are my damned eggs... Paul!" Paul. God, Paul is dead. Now who the hell is gonna cook for us?!

Yours, Mine or Ours (series 1)

Jack: So what's cookin', average lookin'?

The Unsinkable Mommy Adler (series 1)

Jack: Anyways, I'm collecting data to put on the Internet. The world should know the truth about C-3P0.

Will: Jack, C-3P0 is not gay, he's British.

My Fair Maidy (series 1)

Karen: You know what those rocks need? A little scotch.

Pilot (series 1)

Will Truman: Where's Grace?

Karen Walker: Oh honey, thank God. How do you say toy store in Spanish?

Will Truman: Tienda de juguetes.

Karen Walker: Uh-huh, thanks. F-A-O-yeah-Schwartzo. Si si­ Rosario, gracias. Hola.

Von Trapped (series 8)

Grace: Do you think people can tell I'm Maria even though I don't have my Captain Von Trapp?

Karen: Of course, honey. You make a perfect Maria...you're sweet and perky and you're obviously not cut out to be a nun. 'Cause you're a whore.

Grace: Thanks, Karen!

Karen: And a Jew...

Grace: Yeah, I got it!

Grace: You know what I do when I feel scared?

Jack: Fart a little and then deny it?

Grace: No! Well, after that.

Bathroom Humor (series 8)

Rosario: I'm sorry lady, I sent them invitations by mistake.

Karen: [sighs] Oh yeah? I think the real mistake was when your father spotted your mother across a crowded swamp, dragged her back to his hut and made you.

Rosario: I never should have shown you our home movies.

A Little Christmas Queer (series 8)

Karen: Well, the tousled hair, the slightly smeared lipstick, the disheveled clothing. Either you're on your way to work or the holiday whore is back.

Swish Out Of Water (series 8)

Will: The Coalition for Justice sounds like the kind of place where superheroes work. I'm like the gay Superman, waiting to meet my Lewis Lane.

Birds of a Feather Boa (series 8)

Jack: The ratings for Jack Talk came in. We got a 17 rating and a 10 share.

Grace: Wow!

Will: In this case that means 17 people watched and 10 of them dressed as Cher.

The Old Man And The Sea (series 8)

Jack: Would you say that I have a swimmer's body?

Will: Unless it's in a trunk in your closet, I'd say no.

Grace: Oh my God. This is so delicious. I have been living with a gay guy for so long I forgot what the skin of chicken tastes like.

Pilot (series 1)

Grace: Jealous?

Will: I don't need your man. I've got George Clooney.

Karen: Anyone homo?

Jack: I am. I am.

Karen: Grace Alden. I'm ashamed...

Grace: Adler. My last name is Adler.

Karen: Oh... That's pretty.

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