Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997) - 33 quotes

Buffy: This is Andrew, he's our hostage.

Andrew: I prefer guestage.

Buffy: Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um....

Giles: England?

Cordelia: Do guns make you wanna have sex?

Xander: I'm 17, linoleum makes me wanna have sex.

All of series 1 (series 1)

Xander: So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?

Buffy: Xander!

Xander: I mean, how'd the laying go? No, I don't mean that either.

Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.

Angel (series 1)

Angel: You have know idea what it's like to have done the things I've done...and to care.

Prophecy Girl (series 1)

Xander: You were looking at my neck.

Angel: What?

Xander: You were checking out my neck, I saw that.

Angel: No, I wasn't.

Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.

Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck.

Xander: I told you to eat before we left.

When She Was Bad (series 2)

Xander: Are we overlooking the possibility that she may be very attracted to me? ... She's possessed.

School Hard (series 2)

Spike: You know what I find works with Slayers? Killing them.

Vampire: And when I kill her, it will be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know, I was there.

Spike: You were there?! If every vampire who said he was actually at the crucifixion really was there, it would've been like Woodstock!

Lie To Me (series 2)

Willow: If I say something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?

Angel: Are you going to tell me I'm jealous?

Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.

Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was...an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet and chaste.

Buffy: You made her a vampire.

Angel: First I made her insane. Killed everyone she loved, visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.

Innocence (2) (series 2)

Xander: I think I'm having a thought. Oh yeah, that's a thought. [Gasp] Now I'm having a plan!

Killed By Death (series 2)

[Buffy accidently attacks Xander, and Xander jumps back.]

Xander: Man, Buffy. My life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta get me a life.

Band Candy (series 3)

Willow: Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to kiss...oh, wait. I get it.

Doppelgangland (series 3)

Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and...skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay.

No Place Like Home (series 5)

[After finding Spike outside her house.]

Buffy: What are you doing here, Spike? Five words or less!

Spike: [counting on fingers] Out...for...a...walk... Bitch.

Fool For Love (series 5)

Xander: What's with the hand wave? You see that? Does that, like, mean something?

Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to 'choo-choo!'

Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.

Willow: [whispering] Ask him.

Xander: [yelling] Hey, Riley? What's the [hand gesture] all about?

Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.

Xander: See, now he's all mad and sarcastic.

Willow: It's because you were doing all that yelling, Mr. Stealthy-pants.

Spike: Death is on your heels, baby. And sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it. Not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it.

Bargaining (1) (series 6)

[After saving Giles from a vampire.]

Spike: Awww, poor Watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost-got-shagged, cup of tea?