Kim Wexler: I know $5,000 isn't as much as it use to be back in 1974, and...and we do understand how inconvenient this must be. So, as a gesture of goodwill, Mesa Verde has just increased your buy-out to $18,000.
Everett Acker: $18,000?
Kim: That's right.
Everett: Well, nobody's ever explained it to me like that before. $18,000. That's a lot of money. I bet you with that, I could buy a big old mansion and a swimming pool. Do me a favor, will you? I'm gonna spread my legs out, like this, and just to finish it off, why don't you give me a swift kick in the balls?
Dr. Caldera: Jesus, what are you doing, man? There's barely any oxygen in that bag! You're suffocating her.
Jimmy McGill: Her?
Dr. Caldera: Just because you don't see swinging dicks doesn't mean you can't tell a boy fish from a girl fish.
Jimmy McGill: Oh yeah, see. Now I can see the lipstick. (00:10:19)
Jimmy McGill: Who do I see? Chet. He drove up and he double parked outside a Dairy Queen and went in to get some soft serve. Now Chet drove, and this will give you an idea of exactly what kind of douche bag this guy was, drove a white pearlescent BMW 7-Series with white leather interior. So I saw that thing, and I had, I'd had a few, like I said, and uh... I climbed up top, and I may have... Defecated, uh... Through the sunroof... Not my finest hour, I'll grant you that. But! That's what a Chicago Sunroof is. Now you know. It's a real thing, I didn't make it up, not the first person to do it, there's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft serve, I gave him soft serve. I did not know that his children were in the backseat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I'll maintain to this day, was not legal in an Illinois licenced vehicle. But somehow, that's on me, I guess.
Roland Jaycocks: Meet Tony the Toilet Buddy. And when you sit down to do your business, this is how he works.
Tony the Toilet Buddy: Oh yeah, that's the way! Gosh you're big! You're so big! My goodness, look at you! Fill me up, Chandler, put it in me.
Roland: Chandler's my youngest, loves it.
Toilet Buddy: Give it to me, Chandler. I want it all. Mmm! Ahh.
Chuck McGill: Money is beside the point.
Jimmy McGill: Money is the point.
Jimmy McGill: YOU! WILL! ATONE!
Howard Hamlin: What can we do for you, Jimmy?
Jimmy McGill: I'm the guy on your speed dial right after your weed dealer.
