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Father Ted: I know what's going on, Pat Mustard. There are some very hairy babies on Craggy Island, and I think you are the hairy baby-maker.
Pat Mustard: Oh, yeah? Well, I think that you would need proof if you were going to make that sort of an accusation. And I'm a very careful man, Father. A very careful man!
Father Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom.
Pat Mustard: Ah, w-... you certainly wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, Father, would you?
Father Ted: Yes, I... well... if you're going to be... of course you will... JUST FECK OFF!
Mistakes
In the scene where the old women are grabbing at Eoin at the front door in one shot the top pane of the window on the left of the door is broken and an arm is coming through it, in another shot the bottom pane is broken and the top one is intact and arm is coming through the bottom pane and in the very next shot the top pane is broken again and the bottom one is intact again. See more...
Trivia
In the scene where Mrs. Doyle is telling Ted about the profanity in the book, several of the swears were not in the original script but were introduced by Pauline McLynn during filming. You can see Dermot Morgan trying not to laugh at her last line "Ride me sideways", which he hadn't been expecting. See more...
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Continuity: In the scene where the old women are grabbing at Eoin at the front door in one shot the top pane of the window on the left of the door is broken and an arm is coming through it, in another shot the bottom pane is broken and the top one is intact and arm is coming through the bottom pane and in the very next shot the top pane is broken again and the bottom one is intact again.
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