Jon Heder (back to the J list / H list)

Jimmy: I see you got fat!

Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

Jimmy: I call top bunk!

Chazz: No, I already did.

Jimmy: No you didn't.

Chazz: Yes I did. In my mind.

Jimmy: Get out of my face.

Chazz: I'll get inside your face.

Jimmy: I don't share rooms.

Chazz: I don't share SHIT...

Jimmy: I'm getting sick, you smell like aftershave and taco meat!

Chazz: Mind-bottling, isn't it?

Jimmy: Did you just say mind-bottling?

Chazz: Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

Chazz: You know what dude, your hand has to be on top.

Jimmy: No way, the girl's goes on top.

Chazz: Yeah, ergo, chick.

Jimmy: I'm not the girl, I'm stronger!

Chazz: No, I'M stronger, and don't have a vagina.

Jimmy: Who's that?

Chazz: You mean Katie van Waldenberg?

Jimmy: She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?

Chazz: Fairchild's legs and Stranz's ass.

Deb: What are you drawing?

Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.

Deb: What's a liger?

Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.

Pedro: Why?

Napoleon Dynamite: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.

Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?

Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless she likes fish.

Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?

Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.

Pedro: Like what are my skills?

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.