Julie Kavner (back to the J list / K list)

Marge Simpson: How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?

Homer Simpson: Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig does whatever a Spider-Pig does... Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig. Look out, he is the Spider-Pig.

Marge: He filled an entire silo with crap in two days?

Homer: I helped.

Marge: You have to go out there, face that mob and apologize for what you did.

Homer: I would, but I'm afraid if I open the door, they'll take all of you!

Carl: [offscreen] No we won't! We just want Homer!

Homer: Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grandpa!

Abe: [offscreen] I'm part of the mob!

Homer Simpson: Hey, Marge! Isn't it great being married to somebody who's recklessly impulsive?

Marge Simpson: Actually, it's aged me horribly.

Marge Simpson: I hate being late.

Homer Simpson: Well I hate going. Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way: by praying like hell on my deathbed.

Marge Simpson: Homer, they can hear you inside!

Homer Simpson: Relax. Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phony-baloney God.

[Stony stares from the congregation.]

Homer Simpson: Hey, how you doing? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.

[Homer is driving and crashes into a statue of a deer]

Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: A deer!

Marge: A female deer.

Lionel Hutz: Uh oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.

Marge: Is that bad?

Lionel Hutz: Well he's sorta had it in for me since I kinda ran over his dog.

Marge: You did?

Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'.

Homer: Marge, can I get a duck?

Marge: You already have a monkey!

Homer: Can he get a duck?

[Homer runs naked through the kitchen, where Patty and Selma are eating.]

Patty: [after seeing Homer] There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.

Marge: Homer, no! You'll kill us all!

Homer: Or die trying...