Below are a few quotes involving Ashton Kutcher - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, just click "submit something" to submit something new.
Emma: Congrats? For what, having sex with you?
Adam: You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.
Adam: I'm warning you, if you take one step closer, I'm never letting you go.
Alvin: She's just so hot.
Adam: I know how hot she is.
Vanessa: That's really sweet, thanks guys!
Adam: Fuck you!
Eli: You know what the best part about my gay dads is?
Eli: They're never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
Wallace: You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
Emma: Do you wanna do this?
Adam: Do what?
Emma: Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night. Nothing else.
Adam: Yeah, I could do that.
Emma: Good. It's gonna be fun.
Reed Bennett: When I was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. But there's one thing that he said that was pure genius... he said, if you're ever with a girl that's too good for you, marry her.
Reed Bennett: Did you even consider marrying me?
Morley Clarkson: Of course I did... but when you ask a girl to marry you, do you want her to just consider it? Or do you want her to just know?
Reed Bennett: You don't keep inklings to yourself! You share them! You're like hey guy, I got an inkling you're headed for a fall here! That's what friends do, that's common knowledge, it's in the damn handbook!
Reed Bennett: What's the greatest love song of all time?
Alphonso: "Rock and Roll All Night," by Kiss.
Reed Bennett: That's a stripper song.
Reed Bennett: There's this girl.
Oversized Baggage Agent: Oh don't tell me, that'll take the fun out of guessing. Let's see, this is gonna be a tough one, there's a very pretty girl and she's about to get on a big airplane and if you don't stop her, she'll never know how you really feel.
Reed Bennett: Not exactly.
Oversized Baggage Agent: What am I missing?
Reed Bennett: If she gets on the plane, she's gonna find out the hard way that the guy that she thinks she's in love with is a spineless lying creep!
Oversized Baggage Agent: That's no good.
Reed Bennett: No, it is no good. And I can't let that happen. Because this girl, she is great! She's like... like sunshine. Everything is better when she's there. I can't stand the idea of some jerk hurting her, I just can't. I can't.