Johnny Depp (back to the J list / D list)

The Mad Hatter: There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter. Which luckily I am.

The Mad Hatter: What a regrettably large head you have. I would very much like to hat it. I use to hat The White Queen, you know. Her head was so small.

The Red Queen: It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?

Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

Alice Kingsley: This is impossible.

The Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is.

The Mad Hatter: Why is it you're always too small or too tall?

Willy Wonka: Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called canibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Mrs. Gloop: Zen he vil be made into strawberry flavoured chocolate coated fudge?

Willy Wonka: Of course not. I can't let thet happen. Can you imagine Augustus flavoured chocolate coated fudge? Ew.

Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want one of those squirrels! Get me one of those squirrels!

Mr. Salt: All right dear. Mr. Wonka, how much for one of your squirrels? Name your price.

Willy Wonka: Oh, they're not for sale. She can't have one.

Veruca Salt: Daddy!

Willy Wonka: [impersonating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling, Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.

Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copycat candy making cads?

Grandpa Joe: No, sir.

Willy Wonka: Then wonderful, welcome back.

Willy Wonka: All right, let's start the tour.

Violet Beauregarde: Wait, don't you want to know our names?

Willy Wonka: I can't see why that would possibly make any difference.

Captain Jack Sparrow: A dishonest man can always be trusted to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you can't trust.

Captain Jack Sparrow: You can mistrust me less than you can mistrust him.

Captain Jack Sparrow: You look bloody awful. What are you doing here?

Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.

Captain Jack Sparrow: You smell funny.

Elizabeth Swann: [After cuffing Captain Jack to the mast] It's after you, not the ship. It's not us. I mean, this is the only way, don't you see? I'm not sorry.

Jack Sparrow: Pirate.

Norrington: So am I worthy to sail under Captain Jack Sparrow? [Points gun at Jack] Or should I just kill you now?

Jack Sparrow: You're hired.

Jack Sparrow: You know that feeling you get when you're standing in a high place... sudden urge to jump?... I don't have it.

Jack Sparrow: There'll be dangers along the way... firstly mermaids, zombies... Blackbeard.

Gibbs: All part of the plan, yes?

Jack Sparrow: No.

Jack Sparrow: Have you been there?

Captain Teague: Does this face look like it's been to the fountain of youth?

Jack Sparrow: Depends on the light.

Angelica: That's hardly appropriate for the first mate.

Jack Sparrow: Was I the first?

Elizabeth Swann: That's it, then? That's the secret grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow - you spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum?

Jack Sparrow: Welcome to the Caribbean, love.

Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?

Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles? What did he use for rope?

Jack Sparrow: Human hair. From my back.

Elizabeth Swann: But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then.

Jack Sparrow: To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone. Unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails [eying Elizabeth's chest] hidden in that bodice. Unlikely! Young Mr. Turner will be dead long before you can reach him.

[Barbossa is about to kill Will, but Jack shows up.]

Barbossa: It's not possible!

Jack Sparrow: Not probable.

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?

Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word, really. Except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Rango: Stay in school, eat your veggies, and burn all the books that ain't Shakespeare.

Rango: Reptiles gotta stick together, brother.

Buford: I'm an amphibian.

Rango: Ain't no shame in that.

Rango: I think the metaphor broke my spleen.

Rango: We can control it! Like a monkey's bladder!

Rango: I'm going to slice your face off and use it to wipe my unmentionables!