Rob Lowe (back to the R list / L list)

Jeff Megall: Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they're looking to make.

Nick Naylor: Cigarettes in space?

Jeff Megall: It's the final frontier, Nick.

Nick Naylor: But wouldn't they blow up in an all oxygen environment?

Jeff Megall: Probably. But it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue. 'Thank God we invented the... you know, whatever device.'

Nick Naylor: Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.

Jeff Megall: Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.

Nick Naylor: Right, on two packs a day.

Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...

Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French, it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by definition they're not.

Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In many ways it's superior but will never be as recognized as the original.

Toby: A hooker?

Sam: Call girl.

Toby: Oh, well that's a distinction that's going to be very important to the grand jury.

Leo McGarry: How are you doing, Ainsley?

Ainsley Hayes: [Nervous] I'm concerned about peeing on your carpet.

Leo McGarry: Ok, well, now I am too.

Ainsley Hayes: Can I use your bathroom?

Leo McGarry: Sure.

[She walks into the closet.]

President Bartlet: Where is she?

Sam Seaborn: In the closet.

President Bartlet: Come on out Ainsley. What were you doing in the closet?

Ainsley Hayes: I had to pee.

President Bartlet: They wont let me smoke inside, but you can pee in Leo's closet.

C.J. Cregg: What are you taking?

President Josiah Bartlet: I don't know. My wife hands me pills, I swallow them with water.

Sam Seaborn: Sir?

President Josiah Bartlet: Vitamin C, Vitamin B. Is it possible I'm taking something called euthanasia?

Sam Seaborn: Echinacea?

President Josiah Bartlet: Ah, that sounds more like it.

Laurie: Tell your friend POTUS he's got a funny name, and he should learn how to ride a bicycle.

Sam Seaborn: I would, but he's not my friend, he's my boss. And it's not his name, it's his title.

Laurie: POTUS?

Sam Seaborn: President of the United States.

Mallory O'Brian: I'm sorry to be rude, but are you a moron?

Sam Seaborn: In this particular area, yes.

Mallory O'Brian: The 18th president was Ulysses S. Grant and the Roosevelt Room was named for Theodore.

Sam Seaborn: Really?

Mallory O'Brian: There's like a six-foot painting on the wall of Teddy Roosevelt.

Sam Seaborn: I should have put two and two together.

Mallory O'Brian: Yes.

Sam Seaborn: The thing is while there really are a great many things on which I can speak with authority, I'm not good at talking about the White House.

Mallory O'Brian: You're the White House Deputy Communications Director and you're not good at talking about the White House?

Sam Seaborn: Ironic, isn't it?