Robert Downey Jr. (back to the R list / D list)

Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away and what are you?

Tony Stark: A genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.

Loki: I have an army!

Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.

Tony Stark: If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it!

Tony Stark: Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Bruce Banner: Thanks.

Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?

Tony Stark: Funny things are.

Tony Stark: Falling in line's not really my style.

Steve Rogers: You're all about style, aren't you?

Thor: You people are so petty, and tiny.

Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack!

Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!

Steve Rogers: Stark, are you seeing this?

Tony Stark: Seeing, yes, still working on believing.

Maria Hill: When did you become an expert on thermonuclear astrophysics?

Tony Stark: Last night.

Thor: You have no idea what you're dealing with.

Tony Stark: Uh, Shakespeare in the park? Dost mother know you weareth her drapes?

Peter Highman: If I miss the birth of my own child, I'm gonna choke you out with your own scarf. Wrap that thing 'round your head, and choke you out.

Ethan Tremblay: Sounds a bit... drastic.

Ethan Tremblay: My father always had a saying "When a day starts like this it's all uphill from here.

Peter Highman: Uphill? No, it's all downhill from here.

Ethan Tremblay: But nobody wants to be down, everybody wants to be up. It's all uphill from here.

Peter Highman: But it's easier to go downhill. So your dad had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

Ethan Tremblay: Did you call me over here to apologize?

Peter Highman: What? Fuck You!

Tony Stark: They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire. I prefer the weapon you only need to fire once. That's how dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.

Christine Everheart: Tony Stark! Christine Everheart, Vanity Fair magazine

Tony Stark: Hi, yeah okay, go.

Christine Everheart: Mr. Stark, you've been called the Da Vinci of our time; what do you say to that?

Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous, I don't paint.

Christine Everheart: What do you say to your other nickname, the 'Merchant of Death'?

Tony Stark: That's not bad.

Jim Rhodes: You're not a soldier.

Tony Stark: Damn right I'm not. I'm an army.

[Pepper catches him in Iron Man suit.]

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What's going on here?

Tony Stark: Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've ever caught me doing.

Tony Stark: No one's allowed to talk, is that it? You're not allowed to talk?

Driver: No, you intimidate them.

Tony Stark: Good God! You're a woman!

Yinsen: That doesn't look like a missile... What are you building, Stark?

Tony Stark: I'm working on something big.

Tony Stark: I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forest...

Jimmy: We can talk, sir.

Tony Stark: Oh, I see. So it's personal. All right.

Ramirez: You intimidate them, sir.

Tony Stark: Good god, you're a woman! I honestly couldn't have called that. I mean, I would apologize, but isn't that what we're going for here? I thought of you as a soldier first.

Ramirez: I'm an airman.

Tony Stark: Well you actually have excellent bone structure there. I'm having a hard time not looking at you now. Is that weird?

Tony Stark: Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?

Tony Stark: I never got to say goodbye to my father. There's questions I would've asked him. I would've asked him how he felt about what his company did, if he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch of man we remember from the newsreels. I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero-accountability.

Press Reporter 1: Mr. Stark, what happened over there?

Tony Stark: I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries.

Tony Stark: Why are you trying to hustle me out of here?

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago.

Tony Stark: That's funny. I thought with it being my plane and all, that it would just wait for me to get there. I mean, doesn't it kind of defeat the purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?

Senator Stern: Our priority here is to have you turn over the Iron Man weapon to the American people.

Tony Stark: Well, you can forget it. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property - you can't have it! But I did you a big favor. I have successfully privatized world peace.

Tony Stark: I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.

Tony Stark: Things are different now, I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you.

Tony Stark: I'm Tony Stark. I build neat stuff, got a great girl, occasionally save the world. So why can't I sleep?

Tony Stark: Dads leave. No need to be such a pussy about it.

Tony Stark: Jarvis, do me a favor, blow the Mark 42.

Tony Stark: Stop stopping.

Tony Stark: Please don't tell me there's a 12-year-old kid waiting in the car that I've never met.

Maya Hansen: He's 13. No, I need your help.

Sherlock Holmes: You've never complained about my methods before.

Dr. John Watson: I've never complained! When have I ever complained about you practising the violin at three in the morning, or your mess, your general lack of hygiene, your experiments on my dog, or the fact that you steal my clothes?

Dr. John Watson: Holmes, does your depravity know no bounds?

Sherlock Holmes: No.

Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?

Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?

Sherlock Holmes: It's a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell if a man's dead or not!

Sherlock Holmes: You have the grand gift of silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion.

Sherlock Holmes: Never theorize before you have data. Invariably, you end up twisting facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

Sherlock Holmes: My mind rebells at stagnation. Give me work. Give me problems.

Sherlock Holmes: Data, data, data. I cannot make bricks without clay.

Inspector Lestrade: In another life you'd have made an excellent criminal.

Sherlock Holmes: And you an excellent policeman.

Dr. John Watson: It's happening. Whether you like it or not, 8:30, the Royale. Wear a jacket!

Sherlock Holmes: You wear a jacket.

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

Kirk Lazarus: I don't read the script. The script reads me.

Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt...retarded. Like, really retarded.

Kirk Lazarus: Moronical?

Tugg Speedman: Yeah!

Kirk Lazarus: An imbicile?

Tugg Speedman: Yeah!

Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?

Tugg Speedman: ...when I was playing the character.

Tugg Speedman: Wait, guys, are you telling me you're giving up on the movie? I thought we were supposed to be a team, a unit.

Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

Kirk Lazarus: Cover me, limp dick fuck-ups!

Kirk Lazarus: Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus: Man, I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.

Kirk Lazarus: Here's my mothafuckin' farm! I'm a lead farmer, mothafucka!

Kirk Lazarus: Being an actor's no different than being a rugby player or a construction worker, save for the fact that my tools are the mechanisms that trigger human emotion.

Kirk Lazarus: You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.