John Spencer (back to the J list / S list)

Leo McGarry: You can sign the president's name?

Margaret: Yeah.

Leo McGarry: On a document removing him from power and giving it to someone else?

Margaret: Yeah. Or do you think the White House Counsel would say that's a bad idea?

Leo McGarry: I think the White House Counsel would say that's a Coup D'Etat.

Margaret: I'd probably end up doing some time for that.

Leo McGarry: I would think.

Leo McGarry: How are you doing, Ainsley?

Ainsley Hayes: [Nervous] I'm concerned about peeing on your carpet.

Leo McGarry: Ok, well, now I am too.

Ainsley Hayes: Can I use your bathroom?

Leo McGarry: Sure.

[She walks into the closet.]

President Bartlet: Where is she?

Sam Seaborn: In the closet.

President Bartlet: Come on out Ainsley. What were you doing in the closet?

Ainsley Hayes: I had to pee.

President Bartlet: They wont let me smoke inside, but you can pee in Leo's closet.

Leo McGarry: He's a klutz, Mrs. Landingham, your president's a geek.

Leo McGarry: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. Yes, 17 across is wrong... You're spelling his name wrong... What's my name? My name doesn't matter. I am just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation. And I'm telling you that I met the man twice. And I recommended a pre-emptive Exocet missile strike against his air force, so I think I know how...

C.J. Cregg: Leo.

Leo McGarry: They hang up on me every time.

C.J. Cregg: Is there anything I can say other than the President rode his bicycle into a tree?

Leo McGarry: He hopes never to do it again.

C.J. Cregg: Seriously, they're laughing pretty hard.

Leo McGarry: He rode his bicycle into a tree, C.J., what do you want me - the President, while riding his bicycle, came to a sudden arboreal stop.