Linda Fiorentino (back to the L list / F list)

Bethany: Wait a minute. Christ. You know Christ?

Rufus: KNOW Him? Shit, nigga owes me 12 bucks!

Rufus: Are you saying you believe?

Bethany: No. But I have a good idea.

Bethany: What's he like?

Metatron: God? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.

Bethany: Sex is a joke in heaven?

Metatron: The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too.

Metatron: However, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsibility, you won't be alone. You'll have support.

Bethany: What, more angels?

Metatron: Prophets. Figurely speaking... two of them. The one who speaks... and he will, at great lengths, whether you want him to or not... will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one... well... doesn't speak. He's the quiet type, but he'll be helpful just the same.

Bethany: What gear are you in?

Jay: "Gear"?

Bethany: You were martyred?

Rufus: That's one way of putting it. Another way of putting it would be to say that I was bludgeoned to death by huge fucking rocks.

Bethany: I don't want this, it's too big.

Metatron: That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have.

Liz: He said that faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled.

Bethany: You're suggesting I need to get filled?

Liz: In more ways than one. You need to get laid, Bethany Sloane. You need a man, if only for ten minutes.

Bethany: It's been my experience that the average male is never a man. Not even for ten minutes in his entire lifespan.

Liz: That'a a bit militant. You thinking of joining the other side?

Bethany: Couldn't do it. Women are insane.

Liz: Then YOU need to go back to church and ask God for a third option.

Bethany: I think that God is dead.

Liz: The sign of a true Catholic.

Bethany: You're saying that having beliefs is a bad thing?

Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.

Bethany: What are you?

Metatron: I'm pissed off is what I am! Do you go around drenching everyone who comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single.