The_Iceman

Ace in the Hole - S1-E8

Weir: The person you have is not my ex-wife. It's the person I sent in to get her. So, good luck with that motherfucker.

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Deep Throat - S1-E2

Mulder: They're here, aren't they?
Deep Throat: Mr Mulder, they've been here for a long, long time. (00:49:58)

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All the Wrong Moves - S5-E8

Charlie: Paul someone wants you outside.
Paul: Who?
Charlie: Everyone in here.

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Bart the General - S1-E5

Marge: Bart, you have to tell your teacher.
Homer: And violate the code of the schoolyard? I'd rather Bart died.

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Baby on Board - S3-E24

Luke: Ew gross. I didn't know Grandpa could still do it.
Phil: Don't be stupid Luke, anyone could do it with Gloria.

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Inside Probe: Part 1 - S4-E25

Police officer: It's police policy not to waste resources looking for a missing person in the first 24 hours because they usually show up on their own, and after 24 hours, if they're still missing, it usually means they're dead and we don't look for them that hard then either.

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Season 1 generally

Joy: I swear to god if you two don't start behaving, I'm gonna slap you so hard you both change colour.

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Commentator 1: I think he might be ambidextrous
Commentator 2: I don't know about that Bob, but he can definitely play with both feet.

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Shaw: Do you think I'm stupid?
Hobbs: Of course I think you're stupid.

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Carlton Leach: We never did find out who took the heroin, and I'm guessing there's some cunt out there praying we never do.

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Simon: Well you'd all do the same for me.
Neil: No we wouldn't, your bird's a fucking nightmare.

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Nick The Greek: Duno Tom, seems expensive
Tom: Seems? Well this seems to be a waste of my time. that is 900 nicker in any shop you're lucky enough to find one in, and you're haggling over £100? What school of finance did you study Nick? It's a deal, it's a steal, it's sale of the fucking century. In fact...fuck it Nick, I think I'll keep it.

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McClane: Hey, don't I know you?
Col. Stuart: No, I get that a lot. I've been on TV.
McClane: Yeah, me too.

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Girl: I want a lawyer.
Carter: You need a personal trainer. Your license says 180. You weigh more than the damn car, girl.
Girl: I have a thyroid problem.
Carter: Stop eatin' thyroids then.

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Banning: What's Cerberus?
Clegg: That's classified.
Banning: Classified? Really? Well right now I think I have the proverbial need to fucking know.

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Sting of the Tail - S2-E2

Reverend Dale: Young lady, you mean well. But you're young, white and you live in America. You have no idea what its like to walk in my shoes. Now I won't always be around to remind you but that statue will. It stays.

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Crazy Train - S2-E7

Cabe Gallo: And I'm telling you, get me your supervisor or I'm gonna come down there and kick every square inch of your ass. I got so-cal D.O.T on the line. Total incompetence.
Toby: Yeah, you keep sweet talkin 'em Cabe, you're doin' great.

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Rocky: You knocked him down, why don't you try knockin me down now?

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Irene: So I smoked a little pot in college. What, is that a crime?
FBI Agent: Yeah.

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True Colors - S1-E6

Office Admin: Maybe I should go get campus security
Cabe Gallo: Feel free if you want, but my badge is bigger.

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