Jeff: I can't believe you came on my mom.

Alex: Why don't you answer your phone?

Dante: Oh I'm sorry, I was putting up my Christmas tree.

Alex: Dude, it's July.

Dante: Get the fuck out of here it is?

Newscaster: Pamela Mills here in Van Nuys where a rare breed of African lion was captured in a residential neighborhood. Sir, what was going through your head when you saw the lion.

Dante: This shit is fucking crazy. I don't know how lion got into the neighborhood. I heard some growlin' and shit. So my roommate and I, we go to check this shit out. I look up in the tree, and there's the fucking king of the jungle! It was staring right at me. I almost shit my fucking pants. So I ran inside and called the 5-0.