Kevin: Hey, Stifler. How's the pale ale?

Stifler: Fuck you!

Oz: [After singing with the choir] How did I sound?

Jim: You sounded pretty good!

Stifler: Yeah, man, I think you need your balls reattached!

Michelle: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!

Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.

Finch: Single malt?

Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?

Kevin: You want to take this one?

Oz: Like warm apple pie.

Jim: You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.

Finch: God bless the Internet.