Without a Paddle (2004) - 5 quotes

[A big grizzly bear has just appeared from the forest and is standing right in front of Tom, Dan and Jerry.]

Dan: What are you doing?

Jerry: I'm taking off my shoes.

Dan: Why?

Jerry: Because I run faster with no shoes.

Dan: You can't outrun that bear.

Jerry: I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.

[Dan has tripped and fallen after running away from a bear. The bear towers above him.]

Tom: Stay calm. Get in the foetal position.

Dan: Oh God.

Tom: It won't bother you if your in the foetal position. [Dan crawls up into the foetal position.] Nothing's gonna happen now.

Dan: Is he gone? Is he gone?

Tom: Abort the foetal position! It's not working!

[Tom, Dan and Jerry have just fallen over a waterfall in a canoe and have made their way to land.]

Dan: I must have been crazy. I... All right. This trip is officially over. This is finished! Let's, let's just go home.

Tom: I agree. That's a great decision. All we gotta do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone ... he liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And ... Hey there's a beer in the river. Cool.

Tom: So you're saying you lost the map? You don't have it?

Jerry: No. I'm saying I forgot to hold on to it while my ass was free-falling over a 100-foot waterfall!

Tom: So you don't have it?

[It's night time and raining. Tom, Dan and Jerry are naked except for underwear. Dan and Jerry are sheltering under a rock overhang.]

Jerry: Tom man, get under here. You're gonna die of pneumonia.

Dan: No, but we will die of hypothermia. Look, our only chance is to huddle together. We gotta huddle our bodies together for warmth.

Jerry: I, for one, choose death.

Tom: Interesting. One minute you mock my sweaty ball sack, and now you wanna cuddle with it. You know the whole cuddle up thing is the oldest trick in the book. I've used it. It's just for getting a girl naked.

Jerry: Worked though. Every time.

[They gradually creep closer together and lie down all huddled up.]

Tom: This never leaves the cave.