Mark Darcy: Would you step outside please?
Daniel Cleaver: I'm afraid it's not possible.
Mark Darcy: Look are you gonna step outside or do I have to drag you?
Daniel Cleaver: I think you're gonna have to drag me.
Bridget Jones: Well, uh... I just wanted to tell Mr. Darcy that I heard what magnificent work he actually did, releasing me from prison. Tiny... Tiny misunderstanding to do with an enormous stash of cocaine. And I also wanted to say, since having found out that his girlfriend is actually a lesbian, that I love him. Always have. Always will. And that I'm, you know, available for dates if he should feel so inclined.
Bridget Jones: You know, I never really understood why you wanted to date me. It seems so unlikely.
Daniel Cleaver: Come on, Jones, for God's sake. You're sexy. You make me laugh - at you of course, not with you. And you were, incidentally, the best shag I ever had.
Bridget Jones: I will not fuck it up again, Mum.
Mum: Bridget! Language!
Bridget Jones: Sorry. I will not fuck it up again... Mother.
Bridget Jones: Friends - they spend years trying to find you a boyfriend, but the moment you get one, they instantly tell you to dump him!
Bridget Jones: You think you've found the right man, but there's so much wrong with him, and then he finds there's so much wrong with you, and then it all just falls apart.
Mark Darcy: Hello?
Bridget Jones: It's me. Just wondered how you are.
Mark Darcy: I'm fine thanks. Everything all right with you?
Bridget Jones: Fine, though, er, I've just had a rather graphic shag flashback. You do have a genuinely gorgeous bottom.
Mark Darcy: Right, well, thank you. I'm actually with the Mexican Ambassador just at the moment and the Head of Amnesty International and the Under Secretary for Trade and Industry and you're on speakerphone.
Bridget Jones: Oh, right.
Dad: Ciggy?
Bridget Jones: No. No thanks. I've given up again.
Dad: Shame. I find them very useful. I take great comfort in the fact that they might kill me before things actually get worse.
Bridget Jones: Am late, with mad hair, and can barely breathe in scary knickers.
Bridget Jones: I truly believe that happiness is possible... Even when you're thirty-three and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
Daniel Cleaver: Well, you know what a fan I am of any woman married to Mark Darcy.
Chosen answer: While there were rumours that a different celebrity was to be used - George Clooney was mooted - according to Renee Zellweger, that sequence is not in the film.
Tailkinker ★