Trivia
Val Kilmer actually went through a lot of work to learn to play guitar for the role. The Zuckers encouraged him at first, except once they started shooting the dance scenes, they just directed him to mimic playing the guitar in an absurd fashion, and not really play it. Kilmer recalls this was the cruelest joke ever played on him. See more...
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Top Secret! (1984) - 12 quotes
Directed by David Zucker, starring Peter Cushing, Val Kilmer (add more)
Du Quois: Go with Nick. Don't worry about us. We will hear his music on the Voice of America. We will hear it in the hearts of the people, and in elevators everywhere.
Hillary Flammond: For as long as a single man is forced to cower under the iron fist of oppression, as long as a child cries out in the night, or an actor can be elected president, we must continue the struggle.
Nick Rivers: Seems as long as I know my way around that prison, I'll never be lonely.
Doctor Flamond: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
Blind man: Souvenirs, novelties, party tricks. Souvenirs, novelties, party tricks.
Du Quois: Nigel made me go back to the meter shed. He ordered me to set off the alarms.
Deja Vu: And what does he want us to do now?
Du Quois: Nothing you numbskull, Nigel's the traitor!
Doctor Flamond: If they find out you've seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.
Martin: Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm.
Nick Rivers: Hillary. That's an unusual name.
Hillary Flammond: It's a German name. It means 'she whose bosoms defy gravity'.
Nick Rivers: I'm pleased to meet you. My name's Nick.
Hillary Flammond: Nick? What does that mean?
Nick Rivers: Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.
All: Hail, hail East Germany / Land of fruit and grape / Land where you'll regret / If you try to escape / No matter if you tunnel under or take a running jump at the wall / Forget it, the guards will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn't first.
Hillary Flammond: I know a little German. He's sitting over there.
Hillary Flammond: My uncle was born in America.
Nick Rivers: Oh, really?
Hillary Flammond: But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency.