Movie news
Great sites
Mistakes
"Pringles" can disappears from counter. See more...
Trivia
The film's events take place the day after the events of "Mallrats." As an example: In "Mallrats," Julie Dwyer died in the YMCA that day and in "Clerks," Randall refers to Dwyer's death as happening "yesterday." See more...
Movie Mistakes blog
Popular blog posts:
15 biggest Harry Potter mistake pictures
Clerks (1994) - 8 quotes
Directed by Kevin Smith, starring Brian O'Halloran, Jason Mewes, Jeff Anderson, Kevin Smith, Lisa Spoonhauer (add more)
Genres: Comedy
Dante: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!
Customers: In a row?
[Randal reads a newspaper while a customer studies two rental choices.]
Customer: They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good.
[Randal continues reading, not even ackowledging her]
Customer: Are either of these any good?
[Randal continues to read.]
Customer: Sir!
Randal: What?
Customer: Are either of these any good?
Randal: I don't watch movies.
Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either of them?
Randal: No.
Customer: You've never heard anybody say anything about either movie?
Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
[The customer turns around, then turns back with the same two movies]
Customer: Well, how about these two movies?
[Randal still never looks up.]
Randal: They suck!
Customer: I just held up the same two movies. You're not even paying attention.
Randal: No, I wasn't.
Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate...
Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Randal: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
Customer: I only pointed out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.
Randal: I hope it feels good.
Customer: You hope what feels good?
Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There is nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Customer: Well this is the last time I ever rent here...
Randal: You'll be missed.
Customer: Screw you!
[The customer storms out. Randal runs out into the street.]
Randal: Hey you're not allowed to rent here anymore!
Jay: Yeah!
Randal: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fuckin' customers.
Dante: Which ones?
Randal: All of them!
Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal: Annoying customer.
Randal Graves: All I'm saying is if you're gonna be insubordinate, you might as well go the full nine. Don't pussy out when it comes to free shit to drink.
Dante Hicks: Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!
[A man hears and heads after Veronica.]
Dante Hicks: Hey! Get back here!
Randal Graves: Which did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?
Dante Hicks: Empire.
Randal Graves: Blasphemy!
Dante Hicks: Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.
[Repeated line]
Dante Hicks: I'm not even supposed to be here today!
More movie quotes
Message boards
No discussions yet
Register as a member to post a message
The message boards are meant for discussing things with other users, rather than making submissions/corrections. By all means feel free to post what you like here, but for anything to be looked at properly and entered into the "official" section please use the "submit something" link in the navigation bar. Any members who post offensive content will have their accounts blocked. This is also not the place to contact Jon (who runs the site (although the members who help him check are a BIG help)) - for that, please use the contact form.