Dante: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!

Customers: In a row?

[Randal reads a newspaper while a customer studies two rental choices.]

Customer: They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good.

[Randal continues reading, not even ackowledging her]

Customer: Are either of these any good?

[Randal continues to read.]

Customer: Sir!

Randal: What?

Customer: Are either of these any good?

Randal: I don't watch movies.

Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either of them?

Randal: No.

Customer: You've never heard anybody say anything about either movie?

Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.

[The customer turns around, then turns back with the same two movies]

Customer: Well, how about these two movies?

[Randal still never looks up.]

Randal: They suck!

Customer: I just held up the same two movies. You're not even paying attention.

Randal: No, I wasn't.

Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate...

Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

Customer: I beg your pardon?

Randal: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.

Customer: I only pointed out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.

Randal: I hope it feels good.

Customer: You hope what feels good?

Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There is nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?

Customer: Well this is the last time I ever rent here...

Randal: You'll be missed.

Customer: Screw you!

[The customer storms out. Randal runs out into the street.]

Randal: Hey you're not allowed to rent here anymore!

Jay: Yeah!

Randal: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fuckin' customers.

Dante: Which ones?

Randal: All of them!

Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?

Randal: Annoying customer.

Randal Graves: All I'm saying is if you're gonna be insubordinate, you might as well go the full nine. Don't pussy out when it comes to free shit to drink.

Dante Hicks: Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!

[A man hears and heads after Veronica.]

Dante Hicks: Hey! Get back here!

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?

Dante Hicks: Empire.

Randal Graves: Blasphemy!

Dante Hicks: Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.

[Repeated line]

Dante Hicks: I'm not even supposed to be here today!