There is no way the cow (a Hereford I think) could have given birth to that calf (a Jersey or something like that). [The mom is a mixed-breed BEEF cow, the calf a purebred Jersey DAIRY calf. An amazing feat of animal husbandry.] See more...
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Phil Berquist: The man ate bacon at every meal... you... you can't do that!
Bonnie Rayburn: We had different needs. I needed him to treat me decently and get a job, and he needed to empty my bank account and leave.
Ed Furillo: I'm 14 and my mother and father are fighting again... y'know, because she caught him again. Caught him... This time the girl drove by the house to pick him up. And I finally realized, he wasn't just cheating on my mother, he was cheating on us. So I told him, I said, "You're bad to us. We don't love you. I'll take care of my mother and my sister. We don't need you any more." And he made like he was gonna hit me, but I didn't budge. And he turned around and he left. He never bothered us again. Well, I took care of my mother and my sister from that day on. That's my best day.
Phil Berquist: What was you're worst day?
Ed Furillo: Same day.
Bonnie Rayburn: That's really wonderful. You got him to drink from the bottle.
Mitch Robbins: Yeah, thank God, 'cause my nipples were killing me.
Cookie: Lord, we give you Curly. Try not to piss him off.
Mitch Robbins: Hey you know, the first time I tried to talk to you, you embarrassed me. So I teased you a little bit which maybe I shouldn't have done, so I'm sorry. And now you're sitting over there playing with your knife, trying to frighten me - which you're doing a good job. But if you're gonna kill me, get on with it; if not, shut the hell up - I'm on vacation.
Mitch Robbins: If you're watching what you're recording, then it has to be on 3.
Phil Berquist: What... the TV or... or the machine?
Mitch Robbins: The TV.
Phil Berquist: You're saying I can record something I'm not even watching?
Mitch Robbins: Yes, that's the point. You don't even need a TV to record.
Phil Berquist: How would I see it?
Mitch Robbins: Well to see it you need a TV.
Ed Furillo: Shut up! Just shut up! He doesn't get it! He'll never get it! It's been 4 hours! The cows can tape something by now! Forget about it please!
Phil Berquist: How do you do the clock?
Ed Furillo: You're dead. You are dead.
Mitch Robbins: Those cows trusted us.
Ed Furillo: Trusted us? They followed us because we yelled, 'Yah'. They're cattle.
Ed Furillo: What if you don't encourage them, and they still come after you?
Mitch Robbins: It doesn't happen. See, women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
Bonnie Rayburn: Good night! I'm going to bed.
Mitch Robbins: Good night! Sleep tight.
Ed Furillo: That was flirting.
Mitch Robbins: No, that was... politeness. That was "have a pleasant and restful evening."
Ed Furillo: No, that was "I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?"
Mitch Robbins: Hi Curly. Killed anyone today?
Curly: The day ain't over yet...
Curly: I crap bigger than you!