The Big Lebowski (1998) - 38 quotes

The Dude: Where's the fucking money, Lebowski?

Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...

Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!

Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?

The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude.]

Sherry: [on video] You must be here to fix the cable.

Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.

The Dude: He fixes the cable?

Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

The Dude: Hey! Watch it man, there's a beverage here.

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...

Donny: I am the walrus.

The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...

Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch...

Donny: I am the walrus.

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov!

Bunny: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.

Brandt: (forced laughter) Hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.

Bunny: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.

Brandt: Ahahaha. That's marvellous.

The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.

[Explaining to the furious Big Lebowski how he has lost the ransom money.]

The Dude: I dropped off the money exactly as per - look... man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light, and - y'know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, y'know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, y'know, given the nature of all this new shit, y'know, this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, y'know?

Malibu Police Chief: Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?

The Dude: [long pause] I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

[The chief of police viciously throws a coffee mug at his head]

The Dude: Ow! Fucking fascist!

Bunny: Ulli doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist.

The Dude: Ah. Must be exhausting.

The Big Lebowski: Are you employed, sir?

The Dude: Employed?

The Big Lebowski: You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?

The Dude: Is this a... what day is this?

The Dude: Let me explain something to you; I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Goon: Where's the money, Lebowski?

[Shoves the Dude's head down the toilet then pulls him back up.]

Goon: Where's the money, Lebowski?

The Dude: It's down there somewhere, let me have another look.

Goon: What the fuck is this?

[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]

The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.