Batman: What do you want?

The Penguin: Ah! The direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask.

The Penguin: Don't adjust your sets. Welcome to the Oswald Cobblepot school of driving. Gentlemen, start your screaming.

Max Shreck: Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed as Batman?

Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!

Alfred: Why are you now determined to prove that this Penguin is not what he seems? Must you be the only lonely man-beast in town?

The Penguin: Why does somebody always bring eggs and tomatoes to a speech?

Selina Kyle: It's gonna be a hot time in a cold town tonight.

Bruce Wayne: You've got sort of a dark side, don't you?

Selina Kyle: No darker than yours, Bruce.

Young Female Volunteer: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!

The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

[Catwoman is hit by Batman.]

Catwoman: How could you?! I'm a woman!

Batman: I'm sorry, I...

[Batman is hit by Catwoman.]

Catwoman: As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. Life's a bitch, now so am I!

Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me...

Max Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.

The Penguin: Just relax. I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!

The Penguin: They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' them out on a slab!

Selina Kyle: It's the so-called "normal" guys that always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.

Catwoman: I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much... yummier.

Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.

Catwoman: A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.

The Penguin: I am not a human being, I am an animal!

The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask.

Selina Kyle: Honey, I'm home. Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.

Max Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me Chip, except your late mother. Who'da thought Selina had a brain to damage? Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to fry.

Catwoman: I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.

Henchman: Penguin... killing sleeping children. Isn't it that a little ah...

[Penguin grabs an umbrella and shoots Henchman dead.]

The Penguin: No! It's a lot!