Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!

[Gasp from the class]

Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the "F" word?

Cartman: [confused] Jew?

Kyle: No, not Jew! He's talking about "fuck"! You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!

Mr. Garrison: Kyle!

Cartman: Why the fuck not?

Mr. Garrison: Eric!

Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!

Mr. Garrison: Stanley!

Kenny: [Muffled.] Fuck.

Mr. Garrison: Kenny!

Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?

Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?

[Gasp from the class.]

Mr. Garrison: What did you say?

Cartman: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...

[Cartman pulls out a bullhorn]

Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS? MR. Garrison.

Stan: Holy shit, dude.

General: Now each battalion has a specific code-name and mission. Battalion 5, raise your hands!

[All of the African-Americans raise their hands]

General: You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call "Operation Human Shield".

Chef: Hey, wait a minute!

General: Now keep in mind, Operation Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. But don't lose your spirit, men! Stay until the bitter end. Battalion 14?

[The rest of the group, all Caucasian, raise their hands.]

General: Right, you are "Operation Get Behind The Darkies". You will follow Battalion 5 here, and try not to get killed for God's sake! Are there any questions, men?

[Chef raises his hand.]

General: Yes, soldier?

Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?

General: I don't listen to hip-hop.

General: You told us Windows 98 would be faster and more efficient, with better access to the Internet!

Bill Gates: It IS faster! Over five million...

[The General shoots Gates in the head]