Ned Pepper: What's your intention? Do you think one on four is a dogpaw?
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!
Butch: Man, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
Squadron Leader Canfield: The engine's overheating, and so am I! Either we stand down, or blow up! Now which do you want?
Mrs. Fenty: You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson.
Ben Rumson: I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.
Mrs. Fenty: Didn't that cure your appetite for drinking?
Ben Rumson: No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'.
Teddy Lloyd: A man with a wife and six children plus a schoolgirl for a mistress can be called any number of rude names, but "coward" is not one of them.
Dutch Engstrom: They'll be waitin' for us.
Pike Bishop: I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jason McCullough: How's Joe?
Jake: Oh, he figures he's going to be out of here and we're going to be dead about this time tomorrow.
Jason McCullough: Did he seem to feel any sorrow over the fact that we might all be killed?
Jake: No, it's more like he planned to dance and spit all over our graves.
Jason McCullough: Sounds like Joe.
Charlie Croker: You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Boy #1: What shall we call him? Should we call him Harold?
Boy #2: Uh, Bruce?
Children: No.
Girl #1: Christopher Columbus?
Children: Oh, no.
Boy #3: Oatmeal?
Children: Oatmeal?
Dolly Levi: And on those cold winter nights, Horace, you can snuggle up to your cash register. It's a little lumpy, but it rings.
Mr. Short: Miss Dobbin, what's the meaning of this?
Miss Dobbin: I'm sorry sir but the gentlemen kept touching things.
Charlie Muggins: Yes she was showing me how to stick the pole up.
Reporter: Mr. Swope, did you sleep with your wife before you were married?
Putney Swope: Not a wink.
Clayton Stone: Jesus, fifty-five minutes... We'll be pretty cold by then.
Buzz Lloyd: Well, one of us' gonna have to go. I mean uh... that's what we're talkin' about, isnt it? One of us goes and the... other two stay. What... what are we gonna do?
Clayton Stone: Alright look. Let's do this scientifically: two big guys throw the little guy out, okay?
Dr. Petrie: It's hot in here.
Inspector Ahmet: Then take your clothes off.
Dr. Petrie: A gentleman never takes his clothes off in public.
James Bond: Moneypenny, what would I do without you?
Moneypenny: My problem is that you never do anything with me.
Alice Henderson: Listen! You tell me why do you think we come out here?
Carol Sanders: To have fun.
Alice Henderson: And what is more fun than an orgy! Orgy.
Billy: You must be some important dude, man. Like, that treatment.
George Hanson: Dude? What does he mean, dude? Dude ranch?
Billy: Dude.
Captain America: Hell no. Dude means - nice guy, you know. Dude means: regular sort of person.
George Hanson: Well, you boys don't look like you're from this part of the country.
Brenda Patimkin: Look, I'm not gonna take the pills, and that's the end of it. In the first place, you don't just take the pills: you have to start taking them at a specific time.
Neil Klugman: You get a diaphragm.
Ratso Rizzo: You didn't kill him, did you?
Joe Buck: I don't want to talk about it.